Balance & Why I Lived In Extremes


Last month, for me, was all about "BALANCE". This notion of balance came up a lot for me. It showed up during my meditations, in the way I looked after my body, what I ate and how I went about my day.

To me, balance is about the yin and yang, the feminine and masculine, the flow of energy around me. For a long time, I never really considered this concept of balance in my life.

I lived in black and white, swinging from one extreme to the other, always looking for a clear answer or solution so I could move forwards.

For example, it felt normal for me to give 110% towards something, for weeks at a time. I would go through phases in my life, where I would be really committed to my yoga routine, eating well, throwing myself into blogging and other commitments. And when I found myself completely exhausted from this,, I would retreat into a reclusive state of doing nothing for weeks, disconnecting myself from everything else that was going on around me.

Recently, this concept of balance came up for me repeatedly because I had been feeling isolated and lonely for a while. I had created a rule for myself that I should be able to find happiness within myself. And so, I challenged myself to retreat from social outings, and be alone, thinking that I should never need to rely on the company of my friends or family or on the external world to bring me joy.

I lived in this extreme state, and punished myself with negative self-talk whenever I felt like I wanted to connect with others. I told myself that surrounding myself with people was just a distraction because I couldn't be completely happy with my own company. 

And then finally, this month, it hit me. There is a balance to everything. And in the case of loneliness - there are times where we, as human beings, would feel the need to connect with others. This is natural and it doesn’t mean that we are not happy on our own some of the time too. It is about living a life fulfilled. And starving myself from spending time with people to prove a point was not the way to go about it. I was approaching this from such an aggressive, forceful, controlling perspective that as soon as I recognised this, I felt this strong call to let it go as it was not serving me. 

And since that day, I have been letting myself ease into my day with gentleness and acceptance that energetically, life will always be trying to establish a healthy balance.

Sometimes, I need to ease into things at my own pace, to take my time and sit within my comfort zone. And there are other times where I need to feel energised, to push myself outside my comfort zone a little in order to experience something new.

And looking at things from a wider lens, balance can also help us with decisions. We sometimes  make decisions for ourselves that would lead to the best outcome in that moment. But, in balance, we also need to consider a bigger, more expansive, longer term perspective too. And also, there is accepting the balance between the head and the heart to get to a place where both exist harmoniously!

Because ultimately, life is all about balance, and it can be applied to so many different things. We are always in constant ebb and flow, push and pull, giving and receiving.  

So how do you find balance within your life? Do you also have a tendency, like me to live in extremes, highs and lows? Maybe its time to come back a little from the extreme edges and seek a gentler space to be. Let me know what balance means for you in the comments below.

Jo ChunYan - Intuition Coach & Graphic Designer

I'm Jo ChunYan. I am an Intuition Coach and Graphic Designer, currently enjoying a deeply soul nourishing experience in my spirit home, Japan. This sanctuary is devoted to cultivating CONSCIOUSNESS, CONNECTION & INTUITION.