It has been a few weeks since I last wrote as I felt a strong pull to retreat, so that I could spend some much needed time for myself. For me, July was a month where the energy was continuously shifting. Did you feel this too?
It felt like the ground was constantly moving, unstable beneath my feet.
I believe that these energy shifts come to us when we are ready for change, for the next step, for something new to come into our lives. But, it is not without its challenges.
And so, the month began with emotional highs and lows that brought up resistance, discomfort and unease.
I had just turned 30. And so for the first half of July, I found myself coming to terms with this "pivotal point" in my life. And to my surprise, there was so much fear that kept coming up - the fear that I had not achieved the things that 30 year olds "should" have done. Even though, intuitively, I knew that I was on the right path, I still felt pressured to be part of these societal expectations.
However, this time, I made the decision to sit with this resistance in order to let it go and to move forward. I wanted to observe its presence without judgement. And so, I spent the next 6 weeks dosing up on self love and being so kind to myself.
And gradually, with time, my discomfort simmered down. To me, it's like what happens after a downpour of rain. The glow of the sun slowly dries up the ground, revealing something better beyond the horizon. And I am feeling this little buzz of energy, of lightness, of expansiveness returning to me.
For the last month, by listening closely to my intuition, I have been focusing on the act of letting go. Up until July, I had been tightening my grip on all areas of my life, trying to control the outcome. It was as if I was trying to stop time in a way by holding onto all the things that were currently in my life at that moment. I was afraid to let them go completely.
The interesting thing was, once I started to release my grip, I realised that energetically, emotionally and physically, space was created to welcome in better things.
Here are some of the things I did, intuitively which really helped me let go of habits, thoughts and clutter that I no served me. Instead, I worked on creating space for something new.
I decluttered my home and work space
I spent a weekend going through my closet, removing things that I no longer needed in my life. And the same happened at work, I ensured that my desk was clean and organised and that any files or documents on my computer were stored away.
I simplified decision making
Wherever possible, I simplified things. As soon as things start to get complicated, I would take a step back and try to see things from a wider lens. I would ask myself what the intention would be for me to take a certain action, and I would make the decision within the next 30 minutes to take action or to let it go and move forwards.
I cleaned and reorganised my space at home
Something as simple as cleaning the house or even reorganising our nuts, seeds, spices and cooking powders have also helped physically clear out things that we no longer use in the kitchen. My housemate and I have now identified all the foods that we need to start combining into our cooking more, instead of having it stowed away in mason jars only to be forgotten later.
I meditated and wrote down my thoughts
This was a big one for me - I started to delve deeper into my mediation practice, even trying to incorporate it into my daily mindful rituals. In the last 6 weeks, I also grew more aware of my thoughts and feelings by journalling and found myself moving throughout the day with greater intention and lightness.
Ask yourself - in what areas of your life are you holding onto things with a grip that is too tight. What do you need to do for yourself in order to let go, to release it and to welcome in the new?
I focused on one task at a time
In a previous post, I had just started my single tasking challenge - read about it here. I am now into the second month and it is slowly becoming a habit. Nowadays, I am able to do one thing at a time without feeling the pull to action several other things at once. As a result, it has helped create more space in terms of time in my day - things appear to be calmer, time moves slower and I am finding that I am enjoying doing even the little boring chores on their own.
I accepted that the process would take time
When you desire change, the process of transformation can feel like it is never-ending. Or it can feel like you are always just one step away from where you came from. Intuitively, I knew that I had to progress through this discomfort with patience and compassion.
Typically, we are always in a rush to escape discomfort. However, sometimes we are forcing the process - to move us forwards without learning the lessons that we really need to. And so, we inevitably manifest the same situation later again, as life tries to teach us the lesson again.
So take your time as it is never a race. Focus instead on moving through it slowly, gracefully and being incredibly kind to yourself.
To sum it all up, here is a little printable to remind you! Feel free to Pin this or print it for yourself.
So that was how I spent the majority of July and the first half of August - really dedicating time to looking after myself.
After moving through this energetic shift, I am finding myself on the other side, finally experiencing the lightness and feeling the stir of butterflies in my stomach. The interesting thing is, I am not really certain what things will be coming into fill this space that I have created, but there is something beautifully humbling about taking a step into the unknown.